Having been unable to leave his room for the past 9 months for fear of corporate reprisal and shear & overwhelming lack of a budget airline to carry his person across state lines. The Wizzairsucks founder has written an open-letter stating his wish for an armistice to his Wizzair counterpart József Váradi:
I would first like to apologize for casting aspersions toward yourself regarding your prospects for entrance to the kingdom of heaven in our latest poll. This was childish and unfair.
That aside, I am still saddened by your reluctance to contact me directly, either personally or through various corporate vassals. To date I have only had indirect contact through your legal apparat and an ongoing Wikipedia edit/reedit freenzy.
I would like to suggest we cast aside our differences and attempt to form a more perfect union. Wizzairsucks has had its day, it has come and gone. It is true, we have become the defacto customer service for Wizzair, however, due to my own ineptness and lack of time, I am unable and unwilling to continue in my current capacity.
Let us stop the hate, simply.
I have spent these 9 months sitting alone in my room unable to find a decent budget airline to escape my European enclave. The death of Skyeurope deeply threatens my social prospects and I have had to curtail certain deviant liaisons of late.
I would like to suggest a truce.
- Return the money to my parents for the two flights not taken from Dortmund <-> Lviv as well as compensation for the subsequent and forced overnight train journey
- Write a simple (just short of heart wrenching) apology to them for their negative experience and ensuing plight
- Apologize to me for the unnecessary domain arbitration
- Compensation for the 1 week of work on the 96 page legal opus I was forced to prepare in my defense
- (Optional) Sensitivity training for Dortmund employees to refrain from demeaning and all-in-compassing statements such as “This is Germany, this is not Eastern Europe… ” and “I don’t know [in italy, romania, czech republic] maybe they don’t know how to follow the [wizzair] rules”
If you agree to the preceding terms, I will throw down my arms… and retire Wizzairsucks onto the spike and oblivion of history.