Posts Tagged ‘airline’

Wizzairsucks Founder issues an Open-Letter to József Váradi offering peace

// March 25th, 2010 // 7 Comments » // frontpage

Having been unable to leavpeacee his room for the past 9 months for fear of corporate reprisal and shear & overwhelming lack of a budget airline to carry his person across state lines. The Wizzairsucks founder has written an open-letter stating his wish for an armistice to his Wizzair counterpart József Váradi:

Dear Josef,

I would first like to apologize for casting aspersions toward yourself regarding your prospects for entrance to the kingdom of heaven in our latest poll.  This was childish and unfair.

That aside, I am still saddened by your reluctance to contact me directly, either personally or through various corporate vassals. To date I have only had indirect contact through your legal apparat and an ongoing Wikipedia edit/reedit freenzy.

I would like to suggest we cast aside our differences and attempt to form a more perfect union. Wizzairsucks has had its day, it has come and gone. It is true, we have become the defacto customer service for Wizzair, however, due to my own ineptness and lack of time, I am unable and unwilling to continue in my current capacity.

Let us stop the hate, simply.

I have spent these 9 months sitting alone in my room unable to find a decent budget airline to escape my European enclave. The death of Skyeurope deeply threatens my social prospects and I have had to curtail certain deviant liaisons of late.

I would like to suggest a truce.

  1. Return the money to my parents for the two flights not taken from Dortmund <-> Lviv as well as compensation for the subsequent and forced overnight train journey
  2. Write a simple (just short of heart wrenching) apology to them for their negative experience and ensuing plight
  3. Apologize to me for the unnecessary domain arbitration
  4. Compensation for the 1 week of work on the 96 page legal opus I was forced to prepare in my defense
  5. (Optional) Sensitivity training for Dortmund employees to refrain from demeaning and all-in-compassing statements such as “This is Germany, this is not Eastern Europe… ” and “I don’t know [in italy, romania, czech republic] maybe they don’t know how to follow the [wizzair] rules”

If you agree to the preceding terms, I will throw down my arms… and retire Wizzairsucks onto the spike and oblivion of history.

Wizzair loses! Score one for Wizzairsucks!

// October 1st, 2009 // No Comments » // frontpage

david-and-goliath-sumos2Wizzair wins, Wizzairsucks is closing its doors. Wizzairsucks Wins!  The legal dispute with Wizz Legal (Wizzair’s team of highly trained lawyers) ends! Wizzairsucks slumps on to slander another day!

The panel reached its decision Oct. 1st and decided unanimously in favour of for its legal merits, as well as wit, candour, fortitude, and elegant style by the WIPO appointed panel of one.  The highly esteemed Mr. Sebastian Hughes of Australia, a country well known for its criminal origins, has ruled in favor of this fledgling hate rag, stating:

The Complainant [Wizzair] appears to have wholly missed the point of the Website in asserting that “there is no evidence to support the conclusion that the disputed domain name was registered for the purpose of a legitimate protest site”.

However it has been speculated by Wizz Legal that the case may have been tampered with in favour of the Respondent.  They cite several key witnesses that reported seeing the Leading Panelist and the Respondent breaking bread over a large tub of Vegemite.  They further allege that the Respondent provided the Vegemite as a means to buy the Panelist’s swing vote and mention his well documented weakness for the substance and its unavailability in the nether regions of Beijing Province.

After further saturation of the substance, slightly slurring his words, he went on to state that:

the use of the disputed domain name in respect of genuine and non-commercial criticism of the Complainant does not amount to bad faith registration and use…and the Complainant has failed to prove that the Respondent lacks rights or legitimate interests in the disputed domain name under paragraph 4(c)(iii) of the Policy. Accordingly, the Complainant has failed to satisfy the second limb under paragraph 4(a)(ii) of the Policy….the Panel is of the opinion that the use of the disputed domain name in respect of genuine and non-commercial criticism of the Complainant does not amount to bad faith registration and use. For all the foregoing reasons, the Complaint is denied, and the Panel declines to order transfer of the disputed domain name.

Basically, it proves what every unfortunate Wizzair customer already knows… that Wizzair does in fact suck.

Read all about our Legal Battle here: